Top Tip

[Fingers]

FOR many years I've kept my legs warm in winter by wearing
ladies' tights beneath my trousers. I've never found it
embarrassing, as they make perfectly good - and economical -
leg warmers. As a pensioner saving money and staying warm
are my priorities. In summer I switch to wearing cooler
and more hygienic stockings and suspenders.
Mr A. Cream
Rotherham

[Pete Batey]

A woman meets a man in a bar.
They talk; they connect; they end
up leaving together.
They get back to his place,
and as he shows her around his
apartment.
She notices that one wall of his
bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet,
cuddly teddy bears.
There are three shelves in the
bedroom,
with hundreds and hundreds of cute,
cuddly teddy bears carefully placed
in rows, covering the entire wall!

It was obvious that he had taken
quite some time to lovingly arrange them
and she was immediately touched
by the amount of thought he had
put into organizing the display.
There were small bears all along
the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the
length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running
all the way along the top shelf.
She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy
to have such a large collection of Teddy Bears,
She is quite impressed by his
sensitive side.but doesn't mention this to him.
They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and,
after awhile, she finds herself thinking,
'Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one!
Maybe he could be the future father of my children?'
She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips
He responds warmly.
They continue to kiss, the passion builds,
and he romantically lifts her in
his arms and carries her into his bedroom
where they rip off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love.
She is so overwhelmed that she
responds with more passion, more creativity, more heat than she
has ever known.
After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy,
they are lying there together in
the afterglow.
The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly,
'Well,how was it?'
The guy gently smiles at her,strokes her cheek,
looks deeply into her eyes,
and says:


'Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf'

[brian day]

Yes!!!! I've found a sensible posting on this web site that has nothing to do with stick insects! At last my confidence in the club has been restored, long live the revolution!

(Revolution; moving forward; evolution; new and improved due to positive genetic contribution; extinction; death of older non competitive species; extinct; not alive anymore due to better. more quickly adapting varieties)