The Shrimping Business

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Fingers
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Joined: Wed Dec 14, 2005 2:29 pm
Location: Third rock from the sun

The Shrimping Business

Post by Fingers »

The day started well with a blue sky, promising forecast and a cup of coffee. Dropping Thomas off at school so quick after kissing goodbye just into the school gates, where mum would probably have walked him to his peg. I had to look back before getting into the car to check he had not been absconded and taken by some stranger pretending to be a teacher?...after much shaking of the head and stopping myself from ringing the school to ensure he was there, I pressed onto the Dogs Pound. Bad Daddy arrives at the kennel to see the dog is, engine on and ready.

The usual exchanges of pleasantries ensue though my mind is still at the school gates!... 10 miles down the road I come too from my psychosis and all is again well.... to put it another way, it felt a little like leaving the gas on!

Just in time to witness a "Highway Maintenance Van" trundling along the A69 at 10 MPH holding up all manner of traffic, only to then stop! In for the what may as well been the middle of the road.. !!! Not able to stop myself, the window was down so as I could convey my astonishment to the driver in as a polite way as possible, I nearly went for the horn also. The dog found this most unbecoming as we had a hang glider on the car and what would they think of us hang glider pilots?, to which set the scene, we agreed to disagree, and all was well again.

Still full of the joys of spring and promise as the sky was, at this point, looking beautiful. But on the horizon was another matter, a frontal looking sky was looming from the south and things looked to be grim.. Heartside Top, coming from behind the cafe, Bollox!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Press on and be damned!!

By the time we passed the "lay preacher" tending to his flock just passed the second gate. Things where looking very over cast, low base and very southerly. We get to the shoulder of high cap where I would normally expect to walk form here. Oh no, not the dog, were going up here? bare in mind we have just struggled to get to the shoulder on the normal road. We are now going OFF road and little Bessy is taking us up the side of the shoulder..!! I was impressed. So much so that after our crisp n pop lunch I asked uncle dog for a GO!

By the time I had traveled not 20 yards I was being instructed, and there seamed to be a cartoon moment. You know the sort where on one shoulder the Devil is goading the indecisive and on the other God is saying "careful now" I was laughing like Beelzebub himself, horns may have started to appear I don't know, but I was enjoying the moment. Anyhow there seamed to be a compromise made between good and evil and we made it to the road.

Liking our wounds on how could we have made such an enormous public error in judgment, and dared to come to Xfell.? The devil tried to console God and off we pressed back toward the cafe. It is also needed to know that there has not gone 10 minutes that the phone has not been used in either direction to discuss, confer, console and veiled ridicule the other soles that have ventured out on this day.

Our Plan

Head for the cafe, then phone someone, again... Brain Day where are you? We trundle along behind a truck along with 4 cars in front of us for some miles not really taking care nor bothering. A car screams by and the coffee is like smelling salts. "We should have done that long ago" said the devil. "Take this back road" said God, I looked and Daisy Duke was pointing up the road. Like a flash I turned and we were now heading up the dirt track to the Heart Side Top Cafe! and just then the bat phone rings. I am now fumbling for the phone whilst trying to make haste up this dirt track, I manage to give Stuart Bertram the low down on the weather whilst God is changing down a gear screaming "where going to beat the truck, where going to beat the truck" It really was a moment where good and evil came together as a team and celebrated triumph.... Now that was Dogma.

However God started to develop a conscience for his collusion with the devil..

The devil was basking in the glory of the moment that he must have derailed Gods thinking for just a moment he had lost it and joined the real world. God was stewing and festering in the guilt that he had enjoyed himself with the devil, and lashed OUT.

HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU GOING TO CHANGE GEARS???? LEAVE IT IN TOP!!!

YOU ARE WEARING THE GEARBOX OUT!!!

The devil, being himself naturally took this on board, burst into hysterics and within another 2 gear boxes God found himself joining in with the laughter. There was even the start of a song writing collusion which involved ripping off Mr. Pitney. 24,000 gear changes from East Hill. Which is, after a coffee at Tony’s Gaff (thanks Tony) where we all ending up. The good the bad and the down right ugly.

Yes there was flying, well just a little, but the day was about more than that. There was, if for only one brief moment, a point when God dropped his guard and danced with the devil.!!!

Innocently for those than might be interested, Thomas had a good day at school and was returned safe and well.
Everything in moderation, including moderation.
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Bob Sutherland
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Location: Scottish Borders

Post by Bob Sutherland »

Steve......................... you have a talent. :[]:

I've just recovered from a fit of uncontrollable laughter reading this. My dog thinks i'm frickin'nuts!

I think too many Buds might've helped the laughter sensors also.

But to drive to East hill via X-fell? That must have hurt the Dog :(
Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
If you can't eat it or play with it,
Just pee on it and walk away.
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