Wall to wall humbug

[MadDog]

Well.....I thought that this year had gone pretty well so far, until it dawned on me that the only reason it has appeared to have gone well is perhaps because it has been such a shit year for the proper pilots and my services as a forelock tugging retrieve driver have not been needed so much.....and the lack of humiliation, connected to that position in the scheme of things had led me to think I was becoming a better pilot....
What a plonker
Hownam, yesterday reminded me of the pecking order.....Bold pilots, old pilots, ugly pilots fattish pilots, red ribbons, then me.......
What can you do man......?
Six times I went down....I was down in the heather so many times, that I was starting to lay partridges eggs........And all this is going on in a twenty miles an hour wind.....
It was Macho Grande all over again....
"I'll never forget the night we bombed Macho Grande....Striker was a squadron leader; he brought us in real low....but he couldn't handle it....."
Buddy couldn't handle it?.....Was Buddy one of the crew?
"Right!..Buddy was the bombardier, but it was Striker who couldn't handle it, and he went to pieces."
Andy went to pieces?
"No; Andy was the navigator, he was all right......Buddy went to pieces, it was awful how he came unglued....."
Howie came unglued?
"Oh no..Howie was a rock, the best tail gunner in the outfit....Buddy came unglued"
And he bailed out?
"No, Andy hung tough.....Buddy bailed out.....how he survived was a miracle."
Then Howie survived?
"No... 'fraid not, we lost Howie the next day."
Over Macho Grande?
"No I don't think that I will ever get over Macho Grande....those wounds run pretty deep."
Macho Grande....Hownam......What's the difference?
But I suppose that you just can't win them all.....at least I got some interesting ground handling in.....with a bit more practice I could become as good as Mark the plumber.
No......that really is too far fetched for words
But, there you go, If I was to get my head out of my arse for a minute then I might mention the obvious...and that is.... that it was a beautiful day....cold, and windy...but still lovely.....I was in the company of the finest set of lads on this galaxy.....give or take a transvestite or two.....Had the dice landed other than it did, then good flying might have been mine as well
And let's face it ...Hownam is a lovely place.....snowbound Cheviot almost within touching distance.....Windy Gayle?.....Breathtaking
But...I digress
You know what it's like in this game then.... one minute your everybody's hero and the next minute your pilot of the month wearing a silly hat and trying to smile with lips that just were not made for it......
I blame it on the tablets.

[RonDon]

Wonderful John. It has been awhile since i have laughed so hard in a long time.

[gary stenhouse]

so funny along time since we seen your wonderful writing sklls

[brian day]

As the old, ugly transvestite, I was so glad you noticed me and included me in your write up of what was a cold, windy very entertaining day.
It was made special by the moment,,,,you know the one,,,,as you approach someone, knowing they've had the rough end of the weather,,,
you don't really know what to say, you're expecting the worst,,,,,
and your met with a smile!!! was it the beans and noodles he had for tea last night?
'Just not your day eh?'.....
'No, it happens, my turn for a good one next time!'

Is that really Mad Dog I'm speaking to or is it an illusionary figure that roams the wild wannies of the northern Cheviots?

It must be the tablets,,,keep taking them and keep that glass brimmed to the top.
And a very Happy Christmas John!

[John Wallis]

Mad Dog! Happy Christmas me old Mate. I've told you before only take off if the wind is above 25 MPH if you want to stay up

[Gordon C]

cheers john it made me smile

[Graeme Gilroy]

Well written John, think we are cut from the same cloth mate , but I have to say if there was a trophy for "most unusual head wear" it would be forever yours with that corner of a pillow case with bondage straps monstrosity , love Ye man

Graeme